Monday, March 29, 2010

Today, I work...kind of...

Today was my first day back at work, away from my baby, and with other adults. It was actually better than I thought. Five hours actually goes by pretty quickly; maybe b/c everyone was coming up to me and saying, "You're back," "You look great," "How's the baby," and "How's Marcus," which turned into a long conversation every time. The last hour, I was counting the minutes; I was actually working, so I don't know if that is what it will be like from now on.
I wondered what I looked like in the eyes of others, and now I know. Everyone told me that I looked great and it doesn't even look like I had a baby. The truth is I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but underneath all the clothes, it looks nothing like it did 11 months ago. Flab and stretch marks everywhere. I can only think of what I look like naked, and it's not pretty. Nothing is the same. Oy! Nothing!
On another note, Nick stayed home with daddy today, and Marcus said that he cried most of the time. I guess he really missed me. Of course, when I got home, there was no sign of the crying. Nick was gabbing on and on and smiling as usual. Marcus did not want to attempt bath time, but I'm sure he would have had an easier time if he had. Nick loves bath time and is calm after that and feeding time. Oh well, I guess Marcus isn't comfy with it yet; that's ok. I love bath time. Marcus did a great job for the 1st day, and it's great that they get guy time when a lot of dads don't have this opportunity. It also gives me a month to look for a nanny.
If anyone knows of an unemployed nanny in my area, let me know, please.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

It Just Got a Little More Complicated

So, Marcus got laid off, and has 4 weeks left at work. What does this mean for our family? It's actually a mixed blessing.
This still hasn't changed my decission to return to work part-time, at least for now. Marcus will be staying with Nick for the 5 or 6 hrs I'll be working, my mom will be available if reinforcement is needed, and we will be saving the money we have in savings, if we need it later, instead of using it on a nanny. The great thing is that Nick has a good set schedule for the day time...
9AM Feeding
915 to 11AM Play time and Swing time
1130 Bath
12PM Feeding
1215 to 4ish Nap time
I should be home by the time he's waking up, and daddy and baby spend some good time together. Easy enough, right? I guess we'll see next week.

Even though it's a bad time to be laid off, we had already discussed our personal, financial, and professional goals. This has forced us to take action instead of continuing to talk about it. Even though it's Marcus' job I say "us" b/c we are partners and this affects me as much as him.

Even though I'm keeping positive, it still angers me. What is it with large companies these days. They expect for employees to be loyal, yet there is no loyalty from them. Marcus' job was moved to Taiwan, probably b/c it's cheaper for them, but what about the people? Americans need jobs too, and just b/c it's cheaper to send a Taiwanese to China doesn't mean that it's cheaper for that person either. They have to pay taxes if they're there for more than 90 days too. I know HP isn't paying for that. To quote Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail when they say, "don't take it personal"; "That just means it's not personal to you, but it's personal to me."

Monday, March 22, 2010

Last Week of Leave

I go back to work next Monday. It's been tough at times, but over all enjoyable spending time with my son. This week my plan is to at least get into a morning routine by waking up at the time I would when I return to work, feeding the baby, getting in the shower and eating breakfast. I forgot what it was like to wake up at 5 in the morning and staying up. I'm already tired, so I plan to nap at midday when Nick is napping. I know I won't be able to do this when I get back to work, but I may just go to my car during my lunch hour and get 15 or 20 minutes in.

Marcus and I decided that we will walk in the evenings, probably after dinner. It's crumby that tv determines our schedule. We have decided that tv will not run our lives, and besides, that's what the dvr is for. Anything at 7, which is about 2 programs during the week, will be put to record and we will be heading out to walk and exercise. At this time a gym membership is not in our budget, but we have exercise balls and tennis shoes. I'm thinking of buying a dvd or 2 and resistance bands. I'll let you know about our progress.