Monday, October 26, 2009

Crying Over Coffee

I know, it's been a long while. That's because there's been a whole lot of nothing. Everything has been good, but I think I got to that point where you get used to being pregnant, and you live your life as before...just with a baby kicking like crazy in your belly.
So, today it all finally hit me. I think I'm so overwhelmed, happy, anxious, and every other emotion you can think of. This morning I went to Starbucks and realized I didn't have my debit card, so I couldn't get a yummy pumpkin spice latte. I got to the car and just broke down. I began to cry.
I'm sure every woman goes through this in some kind of way while pregnant, and today was my day. All of these questions started running through my brain. Am I being a good wife b/c I don't do as much as I used to? Am I pulling my weight at work? The baby is coming in 3 months; of the million things I still need to do, what can I do today? What is baby thinking right now? I'm also thinking, I'm exited that I have some one that loves me as much as Marcus does, and I can't wait for our little one to come. I'm sure there are a million other things I can think of, but asking myself, "where is my debit card?" was the last straw.
I emailed Marcus to tell him what happened. I'm so glad I have him b/c he asked, "what can I do?" and "are you ok?" I'm sure we'll talk about it more when he gets home, and I'm sure I will cry more.
One day I'm thinking how lucky am I to get where I am now. What more can I ask for but live on and continue with my goals in life, love, career, etc. The next day it's the complete opposite and I just fall apart. Is this me? Is it the pregnancy? I think I'm at a point where I need to reevaluate my goals and future.

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